The Barter Of Cuddles

Yesterday I went shopping. I didn't buy any usual consumer goods, though. During the afternoon I was fucking around on the Internet and, by the way, was very pissed off... all of my friends were on holidays and had no company at all.
I decided to join my usual chatroom and was messaged by a guy. We started talking and he asked what I was looking for..
- To be blunt, I need to make out with a guy, no sex - I responded
- How weird! Why don't you ask someone out for a drink and then, something could happen...
- Why do we have to be such hypocritical?
- You're right. And why do you just want to make out?
- Because I don't feel like having sex with a stranger
We swapped our mobile numbers and then I went out for a walk. I still couldn't bring myself to call him, because my behavior had obviously been very lusty and maybe dingy.
But I changed my mind as soon as I heard his voice and we planned our meeting.
When I saw him in person, I felt mesmerized and stunned: man, you gotta believe me, he was so FUCKING hot I couldn't describe him fairly. His eyes were radiant, his smile was so white it shimmered very vividly, fleshy and juicy lips, smooth and soft skin, trimmed hair, excellent body.
- Where do you wanna go? - he asked
- Don't know - I answered, in a kinda trembling voice - it depends on where you wanna go, what you wanna do...
This hottie can't like me, definitely he can't - that's what I was thinking to myself - probably, we're just gonna have some beers, a lot of small talk, and nothing more.
- If you want to drink something, just go down, otherwise you gotta go uptown to enjoy a panoramic landscape, but the place is a lot more...erm...secluded.
It was a shock when I realized he was heading to the privy spot... we got there, then he turned off the engine.
He told me his story. He had just gotten out of a long term relationship (more than three years), starting to recover. He was a student but volunteered to co-operate with an association aimed at helping children being abused or harassed. Such a clever and sweet boy.
I was enjoying so much talking to him and still had my doubts about his intentions, I couldn't deserve him.
But a lot later he outstretched his arm and caressed me in a barely perceivable way. I took some seconds to get myself together after what had just happened and so I returned the move.
We started making out and kissing very fondly, it was just great! I never wanted to push myself away from him, how delicious he was! And he never touched my private parts, he stroked me in a very respectful and sweet manner it was hard to believe. I laid my head against his chest and he caressed my hair, I tickled his chin, soft-kissed his lips and got hypnotized by his glance... I was on cloud nine.
When we said our goodbyes, he told me that the evening had been exquisite, I added I'd have wanted to shrink him down to a small size and carry him along in my pocket.
So, I came back home, and went to sleep immedietately. I dreamt of him throughout the night. I dreamt of making out with a luscious boy in the likeness of him, then I would rouse and think: "Boy, was that reality!"
This morning I was bethinking about the occurrences of the night before and I mused: "How sad is that! We're living in the 21st century, in the communication era, I can publish whatever I want in my blog for the world to read, I can chat with an Australian guy without budging from my room, but if I long for a kiss, I have to ask for it and pretend the guy I meet is my partner - that's the barter of cuddles.
Who's gonna invent it? I don't give a shit about sex, I just want cuddles.

Guidelines for the Choice of the Perfect Boyfriend

I lost what I had found, so I elaborated my personal and optimist theory about boyfiends.
If he's way too young, he's probably immature.
If he's way too old, he's probably a pervert.
If he's way too hot, he's gonna cheat on you so many times.
If he's way too ugly, he's gonna break off 'cause he doesn't deserve you.
If he suddenly loves you, he'll change his mind all of a sudden.
If he takes his time to love you, probably he'll end up thinking you're not right for him.
If he's too unexperienced, he'll go through a crisis about his sexual identity.
If he's too experienced, he'll get you into a crisis about your sexual identity.
If he's too crazy, your relationship will end in a crazy way.
If he's just plain boring, your relationship will end in a boring way.
If he doesn't love you, your relationship will make no sense.
If he loves you too much, you'll feel suffocated.
If he's too stupid, he will just act foolish.
If he's too clever, he'll work out a clever way to get rid of you.
If he's too insensitive, he'll just ignore you.
If he's too sensitive, you'll make him suffer too much, so he'll break off.
If he's unfaithful, you'll not be able to bear the way he behaves.
If he's faithful, you'll ascertain he's impotent.
If he's a boy, his conduct will be boyish.
If he's a man, he'll be too antique for you.
So, simply look yourself in the mirror, speak about whatever you want and the other one will always be listening to your chitchat. When you'll get tired of blattering, just jerk off and have fun.