A Good Kiddy

Some days ago I met another time SilverCrow, my sweet and cute "good kiddy" - this is the way I adore referring to him...
We sat on a bench and talked about us, got connected to the Internet and listened to some mp3 songs we sang together, played with my portable device...
I really enjoy staring at him while he's singing: it's such an enchanting view and I've got to refrain from going and clasping him tightly...
He said to me he had spent some great hours and he wanted me to feel unworried and happy... he would have done everything he could to help me out!
I'm getting more and more convinced he's such an extraordinary and unique boy: I call him a "good kiddy" because there's something pure and umblemished in his tenderly glowing eyes, in his delicate and heart penetrating voice, in the way he is and behaves overall.
He told me he wants no bf's in this period of his life but I guess this state of mind will be over some day and I strongly fear that, when his heart is fulfilled by the love of another guy, there won't be enough room for me...
He's not gonna agree, but I know by experience things probably could turn out this way, even though I wish to be wrong... maybe my problem is I can't still bear the idea of just being his friend... I really don't know...
Perhaps it's better not to think about this and to focus my attention on our great friendship and on the way we feel being together...
However, with or without me, I'll be happy if he preserves his ethical values and qualities forever, even in times of trouble and loneliness, and I'll be happy if he is...
This is what I do care most about.
As for me, I can just add that I'll always treasure him in my heart whatever it will be.

Humiliation of Straight Love

Here in Italy there's a TV program called "Uomini e donne" (Men and Women).
A man who wants to find a girlfriend can take part in it and the girls who fancy him, all together, can join the show to court the bachelor .
Afterwards he will have to choose who's the one that can best satisfy him by excluding each time from the show the admirers he doesn't like.
It works like a contest: within the deadline just one girl will be left.
For not being discarded, girls must engage to perform sexy dances with the man, they have to praise him and attack the contenders making them ridiculous, they must sell themselves in order to seem desirable.
The man can decide to date a girl and even spend some days with her in a flat and everything will be shot and broadcast. So they are given the possibility to know each other in a better way.
The dialog they usually hold under these circumstances is a 'vanity fair' or, to be blunt, a dreary and dingy spectacle.
When they stop talking nonsense and showing their body off, they allow themselves to converse about the importance of love and their being honest and sincere... the day after they will be engaged in the same conversation with another partner...
These are the times in which I'm proud to be gay.
I could be told: "But gay can do worse!"
Yes, maybe, sometimes... but that's not a good excuse!
Often gay men are accused of humiliating love but who's gonna condemn straight people when they behave just the same?

The Choice of Your Life

Imagine that one day you must decide how your life is gonna be.
You have two options.
The first one: you're gonna be accepted by everyone, none will discriminate, judge and condemn you, you'll live a normal life and probably you'll find a girl and share your life with her, so you will always have someone who loves you beside you... you could make up your mind to start a family and maybe have some children, you will bring them up and probably they will love you for what you did for them.
You won't fight for being loved by the ones who are around you, included your parents and your family, they will be happy the way you are, and they won't ask themselves what they did wrong with you... you won't lose your job for the way you are, you could introduce your girlfriend to your friends, walk around with her and hold hands and kiss and embrace her and, if someone gets nearer, you won't have to stop and let her go, even if you love her, cause you won't fear to be laughed at and injured...
I could keep on this way, but I won't nag you any longer and I'll tell you the second option.
Well, it's just the opposite: you're not gonna be accepted by everyone, you will be discriminated, judged and condemned, you won't live a normal life and it will be a lot more difficult to you to find someone willing to stand by you just because he loves you and not for having sex, you won't have any children and you won't be loved by them.
You'll fight for being loved, a lot of persons simply won't understand you but they'll say to you they are not gonna label you apart, but when you'll turn round you'll hear them making fun of you. In some cases your parents will repel you and you'll be told they're acting to a good purpose. If you walk with your boyfriend you will happen to be mocked and injured.
Ok... now you're gonna choose: what will your choice be?
If you're not stupid or masochistic you'll select the first option... so why are there gay persons?
Just because they had no chance to choose!
Can someone be condemned for something he didn't do? No, he can't!
Can someone be judged for a choice he didn't make? No, he can't!
So why are we discriminated?
Just because diversity is always fearful and disliked: people are scared by diversity cause it wrecks their fund of convictions and illusions and it's not easy to live without them... we get into a crisis if we realize that our creed is not able to explain and understand something.
So we react to diversity by denying and condemning cause it's easier to us than to bring our beliefs all up for discussion again.
Now my question is: can gay people be happy in spite of all this stuff?
Yes, they can... it suffices to them to accept themselves and to obey their conscience and not their cock!
Someone could ask: but isn't it easier to get normal?
Then I say to them: could you change your sexual orientation? So why do you think I could change mine?
And what is "normality"? Maybe you think it's normal something that usually happens but this definition is wrong...
Is it normal to starve? Is it normal to kill people?
Still, these things occur everyday.

Depressive Times

Hi.
This is probably the most difficult period of my life.
I changed my university and I have to get used to it and prevent my mental obsessions to get my life ruined...
I'm no more at ease with other people, I'm living a very lonely life in these months...
I hope I'll find very soon someone who will lighten my tremendous burden.